Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
