Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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