He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
vagina is talking i cant
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
