she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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