He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
