Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
