Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
