I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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