Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize