You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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