I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
