He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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