when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize