Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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