I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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