I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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