census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
