Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
