If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
