This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
