Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
