No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
