If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.