Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When did we convert life to cartoon?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???