My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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