i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize