So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
