Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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