I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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