I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize