Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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