Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
