He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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