Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
