I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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