I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize