I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
