dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
