Say something about gay babies.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
