I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
