Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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