I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
