The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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