i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
