this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So squirting runs in the family.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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