how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
