I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
