his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
