Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I died a long time ago.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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