You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
