Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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