My first STD was from a foam party
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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