sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
