My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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