When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
