cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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