I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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