she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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