2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
BRING THE BAGELS
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have post one night stand depression
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
