Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus