Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
