I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
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low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.