this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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