out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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