Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
