Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
