We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
